I was steered to a web video the other day by an e-mail from a friend, and found myself in a garden of presentation skills coaches (also on video), many of whom quoted research done by Dr. Albert Mehrabian of Stanford University.

You may be familiar with the data, which suggests that voice and body language carry much of the message spoken by a presenter, while the actual words used carry much less meaning.

I have spoken to Dr. Mehrabian, who is now retired and dealing in antique musical instruments.  He is powerless to do anything about this misunderstanding of the findings of his research. 

As a professor at Stanford, his research investigated how human beings communicate emotion.  His data do not suggest that the fine distinctions needed for strategic plans, legal arguments or scientific presentations are communicated predominately by voice tone and body language.

His data do suggest that humans communicate emotion primarily through tone of voice and body language, which confirms intuition and/or common sense.   They do not suggest that the entire meaning of your careful and thoroughly prepared presentation is carried by your voice and body. 

 How you feel about your content is important, but it’s not the whole story.  Of course your delivery is important, but it is in service to ideas made of words that delivery earns its value.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Presence is like pornography:  it’s hard to define, but you know it when you see it, or in the case of speech, see and hear it.

Presence is a powerful commodity, one that leaders, entertainers, and influencers of all types would like to have.  In fact, anyone who wants to be persuasive on the job or in social settings covets it.

Three questions.  First, admitting that it’s hard to define, can we sketch in its elements? Second, can we cultivate it? And if so, how?

What are the elements of presence?

Let’s start with what it’s not.  It’s not beauty or physical attractiveness.  There are lots of Barbies and Kens who look perfect and lack presence.

It’s not intelligence.  The socially inept genius is a cliché. 

It’s not talent, because some creative people are dull in person but vivid and electric in their work.

So what is it?  Here’s my attempt to describe it. Presence is confidence, composure, and responsiveness.  It is the capacity to communicate with others in an emotional, intellectual, and expressive manner.

Can presence be cultivated?

I believe it can be developed through deliberate practice, which is a term that has emerged over the last few years to describe how average people achieve extraordinary results.

Actors, singers, dancers, figure skaters and speakers all try to cultivate it. It’s part of their job.  For some, it’s a performance, for others it comes naturally.

Presence could include posture and a self-possessed quality of movement.  It could include an appealing voice, a sense of humor, the capacity for intimacy, and the ability to respond to the signals you pick up from others.

Presence can also derive from the perception that you don’t care whether people like you or not.  Since we are deeply social creatures, a person willing to walk away from the herd tends to get attention.

How can we cultivate presence?

Be curious.  Endlessly curious.  Be a good listener.  Ask a lot of questions.  Sit up straight.  Be expressive when listening.  Acknowledge what the other person has said so that they feel heard and recognized. 

Dress in order to dignify your encounters with others.  Have convictions and express them with care for the views of others.  Develop your voice so that it is resonant and musical.

Explain your point of view knowing what history and science have to say about organizing your thoughts for maximum persuasiveness.  Take such an interest in your audience that you care more about their understanding than you do about the outcomes. 

This is an important point.  If you have an objective you want to achieve, others sense it, and feel that you are talking at them, not with them or to them.  You have to start where they are, and lead them from that spot toward the spot on which you would like them to stand.

In other words, you must be highly empathetic, highly assertive and highly expressive.  None of us bats 1000 on all three, but presence is a journey not a destination.

It will come and go depending on the circumstances.  For some of us who are shy, or young, and surrounded by those with more power and experience, we will have to fake it ‘til we make it.

But the best way to change behavior is to practice changing behavior.  We can behave in a manner that is outside our comfort zone for short periods of time, and when we repeat those short periods for lengthier periods, we begin to find a new way of being.

And that can serve us well.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills andpublic speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.