Suppose you went to a workshop and the leader threw a balled-up sock on the floor about eight feet in front of you.

“Visualize the path to the sock, then close your eyes, walk to the sock and put your hand on it,” you are told.

Your fellow work-shoppers watch in silence as you move toward the sock, and miss it completely.  You hear them laughing and open your eyes.  It’s there by your left foot.  And then it’s their turn, while you watch them.

At the end, only two people out of ten succeed in doing it. 

The instructor asks, “Who really wanted to touch the sock?”  Six hands go up.  “Pathetic,” says the instructor.

“When you’re too goal-oriented, focused on succeeding, you’re preoccupied with being perfect. Perfect is boring,” says the instructor.

He goes on.  “There’s no story in perfect.  ‘She walked across the floor and touched the sock.  The end.’”

“But if you walk right past it and bump into the wall, then turn back and search the carpet with your feet, give up and get down on your hands and knees to sweep your arms in front of you, or roll across the floor to maximize your sensory exposure to the bump of the sock against your skin, that would be a story we’d all be telling when we get home tonight.”

Actors do this for each other.  They change their reading of their lines depending on how their scene partners deliver theirs. 

Cabaret singers look for accidents so they can humanize themselves, and break through the imaginary wall that exists between performer and audience.  For instance, a man spills a drink during one of her songs, and she pulls her handkerchief out of her bra and mops up the martini with it. 

Performers are always looking for happy accidents like that.  Your listeners will remember how you responded to the accident better than they’ll remember all your well-rehearsed and well-chosen words.

I just saw a client giving a live demonstration of web-based software to about 100 people when she lost her internet connection.  She called up the technical people to the stage and kept right on going, even while we could see all the screens the techies were trying to fix the problem.

She got credit, not just for the content, but for the qualities of character she displayed in coping with the technical failure.

The lesson?  Don’t be so afraid of problems or accidents on the presentation platform.  Problems can bring out the best in you.

As Al Gore said, “…defeat might serve as well as victory to shape the soul and let the glory out.”

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

You may be aware that I’ve been going to investigator meetings and finding them kind of out-of-date.

We’ve got to get away from what’s easy for the sponsor, and instead move toward what is effective for the investigators and their associates.

What is easy for the sponsor is to have the usual cast of characters give PowerPoint presentations—all day, if need be. 

What is effective for investigators and their associates is engagement with the information being presented.

When adults engage with new information, they assimilate it more easily into their already crowded store house of information. 

Engagement with the information includes, but is not limited to:

-          Spot quizzes

-          Small group problem solving

-          Case studies

-          Competitive games for small groups or teams

-          Live enactments with faux-patients and product

-          Small group role plays in which investigators and associates play themselves, the patient, and individuals from the sponsor company who will be interacting with them during the course of the study.

-          Hands-on experience with data systems

-          Social time with sponsor personnel

Not only would investigators and their associates retain more of the information.  They would enjoy the experience, and that enjoyment would attach to their perception of the sponsoring organization.

A win-win, right?

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Within less than a second, using your facial expressions, people make what are called spontaneous trait inferences about you.  Warmth and competence are the two critical variables that other people use to assess your character and intentions.

According to Amy Cuddy, a Professor and researcher at the Harvard Business School, these two categories account for 80% of our overall evaluations of people, and shape our emotions and behaviors toward them.

Warmth is not only perceived first, according to Cuddy’s work, but accounts for more of someone’s overall evaluation than does their perception of competence.

If you happen to be a really serious, competent person (as I know you are since you are reading this), and you are also someone whose temperament, face , and voice do not readily communicate gladness, delight, and enthusiasm, you might be wondering what you can do to warm it up some.

Here are a few behaviors that can help you light up the room.

Appropriate self-disclosure, such as telling a story that reveals a relevant aspect of yourself that isn’t immediately apparent. For instance, I often speak about a recurring dream I had as a child, in which I stand atop a dam in Katonah, New York, wearing long white robes, looking like Lawrence of Arabia or Jesus of Nazareth, saying beautiful, powerful, and eloquent things to little tiny people standing way down below in the valley. 

Then, to alleviate their concern that their speaker may be half-nuts, I go on to explain how the dream has played a significant role in my professional life, and may have some relevance for them.

Displaying a sense of humor is inherently persuasive.  Getting people to smile or laugh literally changes their neurochemistry.  This does not mean that you should tell jokes, but it does mean that you should visibly enjoy the company of others—visibly ­being the operative word. 

For instance, I worked with a physician who was born in India.  He gave many talks on HIV/Aids, and would open with, “As you can tell from my accent,…I am from Cleveland.”  Audiences were delighted that he poked fun at himself (the best kind of humor) and no doubt paid closer attention to his serious talk about a deadly epidemic because of his energetic and engaging personality. 

Smile for real—a natural smile –not the one you manufacture for the photographer. A real smile signals warmth, and amazingly, makes you and your listeners feel better.  Many people find it hard to smile at the beginning of a talk because they’re nervous, which causes the muscles of the face to tense.  But that’s even more reason to lift the corners of the mouth—and raise the eyebrows–to help yourself and to create that all important first impression.

A word of caution: too much warmth can make you appear to be a lightweight.   People can think that if you were really competent, you wouldn’t need to be so nice.  Or, conversely, they might assume that competent people don’t need to be nice.  Nevertheless, the fact remains, competent people are more effective when they are perceived to be warm.

The work being done by social scientists such as Amy Cuddy continues to support the need for business communicators and leaders to master not only their content and the needs of their customers, but to master the signals they send when they speak. 

Snap judgments and first impressions get no respect from serious people who want logic to rule the world.  But the human tendency to leap quickly to judgments about others is a fact of life.  We ignore it at our peril.

Presenting for Results^SM Update:

We have scheduled our 2nd public seminar called Presenting for Results^SM. If you are so inclined, please join us on Nov 18 & 19, 2010, at the Upper Montclair Country Club in Clifton, NJ, which is on Rte. 3 East, just east of the Garden State Parkway.  The program is fun, eye-opening, highly experiential and beneficial to your confidence and career, and thus good for your company as well.  Or let somebody who could benefit know about the program. There is very limited enrollment to keep it practical and interactive.  Click here to learn more.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.