The simple answer is that the new is hard.  Learning to play a musical instrument is hard, as is hitting a golf ball, or hitting a golf ball with a new grip, or getting used to being alone when you’ve been accustomed to being with people, or being with people when you’ve been flying solo for a while.

This is odd when you consider all the recent neuroscience demonstrating the plasticity of the brain.  The research suggests that our gray matter can rearrange itself quite readily.  Patients with damaged areas of the brain can, in some cases, recover lost abilities because another part of the brain steps in to lend a hand.

I assume the brain responds to demands placed on it.  Maybe not right away.  You have to keep knocking on the brain’s door before it will wake up and pay attention.  But when it does, it gets busy figuring out how to meet your request, and puts together the infrastructure that will allow you to do what you’re trying to do.

The same is true of muscles.  You put consistent demands on them, and they get stronger, more efficient.  It’s not easy, but if you push yourself through your own resistance, they respond to the challenge. 

I had to leave my client while he was still in a state of uncertainty, frustration, and diminished capacity.   He was calling on other parts of his brain, and it wasn’t leaping out of bed and rushing to his rescue.  He was in pain. 

Here’s the $64,000 question:  will he continue to try the new approach to his presentation, which I am certain will raise the level of his game?   Or will he give up, and drop back to his default operating system?

The new is hard.  If he’s like most of us, he will take the path of least resistance and stick with the tried and true.  If he’s got an engine in him, he will drive himself into his pain and frustration, and come out on the other side with a sense of self-mastery and a new skill.   He will have made the new familiar, and with the awareness that he is able to persist, he will continue to grow.

At least that’s my hope.  I’m going to send him this post to light a fire in him.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

What conversations are you avoiding?  Maybe it’s with a good friend you don’t want to hurt.  Maybe it’s with a difficult person and you are concerned about their response.  Or maybe it’s with a family member in your business.

Susan Scott, the author of the book “Fierce Conversations,” tells us that people want to hear the truth, even if it is unpalatable.  There is something within us that responds deeply to people who level with us.

The Seven Principles of Fierce Conversations:

1. Interrogate reality:  Get everything out in the open.  Identify the issue, check for understanding and agreement.
2. Make it real:  What are you pretending not to know?  Authenticity is not something you have; it is something you choose.
3. Be in the moment:  Simply paying attention to someone, really asking, really listening can evoke a wholehearted response.
4. Tackle your toughest challenge today:  Go directly to the source and confront the person, one-to-one, privately.
5. Find a way to say the things that can’t be said:  Bring some of your private thoughts into the conversation without labeling them as truth, only conjecture to be explored together.
6. Take responsibility for your emotional wake:  Deliver your message without the emotional load – blaming, sarcasm, exaggerating, labeling.  Leave every conversation with the other person feeling better than before.
7. Use silence:  Fierce conversations require silence.  Ask a question that expands possibilities, then, wait.

The Three Steps in a Fierce Conversation

Make a clear, concise opening statement:  Name the issue; give examples; describe your emotions; clarify what’s at stake; identify your own contribution to the problem; indicate clearly your wish to resolve the issue; invite the other person to respond.

Inquire into the other person’s view:  Really try to understand their perspective, but don’t be satisfied with defensiveness or surface explanations.  Ask for more, saying “I see things quite differently.”

Resolution:  What have we learned?  Where are we now?  Make an agreement and determine how you will hold each other accountable.

What fierce conversations are you avoiding?  Or what fierce presentation are you avoiding? 

Maybe it’s time for a fierce conversation.  Maybe it’s time for a fierce presentation!  Thank you Susan.

My daughter is engrossed in the music scene of Brooklyn, hard at work on her new CD.  My parents are unhappy in their new retirement home.   My sister and I are powerless to make them happier.  My Blackberry doesn’t work.  I can’t send emails from my home computer.  My car had a flat tire last Monday.  My lawn is brown.  I never know how much money I’ll make.  Should I continue?

Nevertheless, I am excited about my work.  I have the chance to work with scientists on their scientific presentations, with CEOs on their leadership communication, with consultants on how to move the mountain of client opinion, and with all kinds of people who want to grow and expand their personal and professional horizons.

I have plans for a public seminar, a new book, and I love my office almost as much as I like my home.  My assistant is fabulous.  All this is good.

I just need to learn how to walk the tight rope between things as they are and things as I’d like them to be.  I need to keep my eye on the prize and not look down at the terrifying things I imagine will happen if I misstep. 

I am told that I should live in the present moment, and I try.  But I find myself lost in thought a good deal of time.

Maybe that’s a start.  To find myself lost is to begin to figure out where I am—which is somewhere in thought, somewhere in my head.

I want to be in other people’s heads, not my own.  Which means I have to get busy and do stuff that’s interesting.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

You may be familiar with the data, which suggests that voice and body language carry much of the message spoken by a presenter, while the actual words used carry much less meaning.

I have spoken to Dr. Mehrabian, who is now retired and dealing in antique musical instruments.  He is powerless to do anything about this misunderstanding of the findings of his research. 

As a professor at Stanford, his research investigated how human beings communicate emotion.  His data do not suggest that the fine distinctions needed for strategic plans, legal arguments or scientific presentations are communicated predominately by voice tone and body language.

His data do suggest that humans communicate emotion primarily through tone of voice and body language, which confirms intuition and/or common sense.   They do not suggest that the entire meaning of your careful and thoroughly prepared presentation is carried by your voice and body. 

 How you feel about your content is important, but it’s not the whole story.  Of course your delivery is important, but it is in service to ideas made of words that delivery earns its value.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

And yet us speechwriters are often given only a brief time with the speaker to determine what she wants to say.  From that brief meeting, we are expected to extract the message she wants to impart, and the sound, tone, texture, and rhythm of her verbal personality.

So, if you are a speaker, and you are working with a speechwriter in New Jersey or New York, (or anywhere else for that matter) how can you maximize the few minutes you have with your speechwriter?

• Be prepared for the meeting with the speechwriter.  Know the DNA of what you want to say.  You can come up with this DNA by imagining that an audience member is considering coming to hear you, and asks, “What’s your speech about?”  You’ve got less than 30 seconds to tell her.  What do you say?  Your answer should be one sentence long, and should contain the benefit that the listener will derive.  For instance, President Obama might have said about his speech on race relations, “ My speech urges every American to have the difficult conversations about race so that our country can move beyond the historical divisions that have plagued our nation.” 

• Next, in order to help your speechwriter (and yourself), figure out the question to which your information is the answer.  At the heart of what you will say is the information that you have mastered and your own interpretation of its meaning.  But you can’t just dump the info on your listeners.  You’ve got to figure out what emotional concern drives their interest in your topic.  What question would the audience have to have in mind in order to make that information a fascinating, provocative question?  Believe it or not, you have to spend about a third of your speech asking the    question—even more if they are not that familiar with the topic or the issues.  For instance, when trying to raise new rounds of venture capital, a biotech president might have to answer the question, “Why do we have to spend millions of dollars creating a new formulation for the molecule when it already demonstrates efficacy in its current formulation?”

• Finally, give your speechwriter plenty of time to ask questions.  Encourage him/her to get to know you.  Take her out to lunch.  Have a glass of wine with him.  He or she needs to soak up who you are, what you care about, how you think, what you like and dislike, and your personal verbal style. 

Only by inviting your speechwriter into your inner circle will you get what you want and need—a speech that captures not only what you want to say, but how you want to say it.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

“That’s creativity—not operational effectiveness, influence, or even dedication. Coming out of the worst economic downturn in their professional lifetimes, when managerial discipline and rigor ruled the day, this indicates a remarkable shift in attitude.”

Creativity is also important in public speaking and presenting, and in the training and coaching of speakers too.

Many years ago, I heard Kathleen Hall Jamieson speak about the future of public speeches.  She predicted that politicians and business leaders would be using music in their presentations—not just as preludes and postludes, but as integral parts of content, just as movies use scores.

We haven’t seen that yet. 

And in the realm of training, the standard approach to developing people as speakers is a small group seminar that lasts a day or two in which people give presentations, see themselves on videotape, get feedback, and try to make adjustments.

This is fine, but it needs to be re-invented.  Too much training is prescriptive and not creative.  Most students are told how to organize their talks, how to design their PowerPoints, and how to stand still and use their hands.

We need to create highly effective speakers and presenters who will become creative speechwriters and presentation developers.  And to do that we must create highly effective training and coaching programs in speechwriting and delivery skills.

However, I must admit that when I contemplate doing something new and creative with clients, I get scared.  The new and unknown is hard to sell.  People resist it.  I don’t feel as confident as I would delivering the tried and true.

I feel the truth in what Ghandi said:

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

I want to know how long til the “win” part.

Sims Wyeth is an executive speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Instead his answer was “investigation”—knowing the facts of your case up and down, forward and backward.

The same holds true for a successful speech or presentation.  The key is research: knowing everything about your audience, about the place where the remarks will be delivered, about everything that has led up to the planning of the event, and then tailoring a speech to those facts.

In his new book Speech*Less, Matt Latimer, a presidential speechwriter, tells the story of how he prepared a speech for President Bush to deliver on National Adoption Day.

The first thing I did [as a speech writer] was consider the audience.  I pictured the president standing before a large group of adoptive parents and their kids.  I thought about the portraits of presidents that people would see just outside the East Room, including a portrait of an adopted son named Gerald R. Ford and another of an adoptive father named Ronald Reagan.

And then I thought of the large pictures of George Washington that would be just to the president’s left as he spoke.  George Washington had been an adoptive father too, raising two children who weren’t his by birth.  (They were the children of his wife, Martha.)

Searching the internet, I found a letter that Washington wrote to his stepson while he was in college, complaining about his lack of attention to his studies.  (I had our researchers verify its existence.)  This led to a perfect joke for President Bush.  After reading the excerpt to the audience, the president said, “Come to think of it, my dad once said the same thing to me.”

I noted that Thanksgiving was approaching and so many new adoptive parents and children, including those in that room, would have the blessing of celebrating it together as a family for the first time.  That thought made people cry.  The president teared up.  Even Mrs. Bush, who usually stood motionless while the president delivered his speeches, took an interest.  She leaned forward and stole glances at the president’s note card, as if to see how this was happening. 

When writing a speech, or in working with a speech writer, spend plenty of time thinking about the occasion, the audience, the location, and anything else that might give you an “in” with the audience.

Do plenty of research, on line or in a library.  Ask your speech writer to do the same.  Knowing the facts makes your speech more original and gives you confidence.  And that feeling can make your delivery livelier, and your audience more engaged.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

They got along just fine.

The remark points to the essential challenge of speech writing: it needs to be done in the voice of the speaker. 

This is important because the speaker will be more effective if the text of the speech is aligned, in style and substance, with the way he thinks and talks.

There are great speakers who can read anything from a page or a teleprompter and make it sound like them.  President Obama is good at this, as was President Reagan.

In fact, anyone continuously in front of crowds develops a knack for reading text. 

But most of us are not up at the lectern every day, and so we need a speech writer who has the ability to collaborate with us—who has a good ear for our speech patterns, and can get our thoughts into the right words.

A collaboration with a speech writer should begin with your thoughts about what you want to say and what you want your audience to think, feel, and do after hearing your speech. 

Your speech writer should also explore with you the problem that you are trying to solve for your audience.  Audiences like it when your speech is all about how they can solve a problem or capitalize on an opportunity.

Audiences like speeches that are short, humorous, and generously sprinkled with stories.  But make sure that the humor is your own, not offensive, and takes a back seat to the point you want to make.

Similarly, the stories in the speech should be your own.  A good speech writer should spend time with you talking about your life experience and pull some stories out of your memory.  Of course, if your speech writer offers you a story that you can make your own, use it.  Just make sure you practice enough so that it feels natural.

For some of us, the chance to speak is rare, and so it leads us to want to say everything.  Your speech writer should be firm.  You can only say a few things to an audience before they get dazed and confused.

Make sure your speech writer doesn’t use any big words that are undeliverable.  Undeliverable is one such word.  So is indomitable, which can come out as “indominabubble.”

William Safire, the great speech writer for President Nixon and columnist for the New York Times, was once asked for a synonym for indomitable and gave indefatigable.  He was fired on the spot when someone nearby suggested steadfast.  Safire says in retrospect that he now sees he was intransigent.

In plain language, your speaking style should never be fancier than you are.

Above all, when you deliver your speech that someone has helped you prepare, you must feel comfortable with it and sound natural.   The pleasure of listening to a good speech depends on the connections that can exist between the elements of the occasion.

First, there is the speaker and the speech.  They need to connect. 

Then, there is the speaker and the audience.  The speech should help the speaker create that connection, and not get in the way.

And within the speech, your own thought should connect with the writer’s language deployed to express it. 

Finally, the speaker needs to connect with his own feelings, and rehearse enough so he can bring to the occasion, with his voice, gestures, and the vivid words of his speech writer, a full-throated belief in what he is saying.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Presence is a powerful commodity, one that leaders, entertainers, and influencers of all types would like to have.  In fact, anyone who wants to be persuasive on the job or in social settings covets it.

Three questions.  First, admitting that it’s hard to define, can we sketch in its elements? Second, can we cultivate it? And if so, how?

What are the elements of presence?

Let’s start with what it’s not.  It’s not beauty or physical attractiveness.  There are lots of Barbies and Kens who look perfect and lack presence.

It’s not intelligence.  The socially inept genius is a cliché. 

It’s not talent, because some creative people are dull in person but vivid and electric in their work.

So what is it?  Here’s my attempt to describe it. Presence is confidence, composure, and responsiveness.  It is the capacity to communicate with others in an emotional, intellectual, and expressive manner.

Can presence be cultivated?

I believe it can be developed through deliberate practice, which is a term that has emerged over the last few years to describe how average people achieve extraordinary results.

Actors, singers, dancers, figure skaters and speakers all try to cultivate it. It’s part of their job.  For some, it’s a performance, for others it comes naturally.

Presence could include posture and a self-possessed quality of movement.  It could include an appealing voice, a sense of humor, the capacity for intimacy, and the ability to respond to the signals you pick up from others.

Presence can also derive from the perception that you don’t care whether people like you or not.  Since we are deeply social creatures, a person willing to walk away from the herd tends to get attention.

How can we cultivate presence?

Be curious.  Endlessly curious.  Be a good listener.  Ask a lot of questions.  Sit up straight.  Be expressive when listening.  Acknowledge what the other person has said so that they feel heard and recognized. 

Dress in order to dignify your encounters with others.  Have convictions and express them with care for the views of others.  Develop your voice so that it is resonant and musical.

Explain your point of view knowing what history and science have to say about organizing your thoughts for maximum persuasiveness.  Take such an interest in your audience that you care more about their understanding than you do about the outcomes. 

This is an important point.  If you have an objective you want to achieve, others sense it, and feel that you are talking at them, not with them or to them.  You have to start where they are, and lead them from that spot toward the spot on which you would like them to stand.

In other words, you must be highly empathetic, highly assertive and highly expressive.  None of us bats 1000 on all three, but presence is a journey not a destination.

It will come and go depending on the circumstances.  For some of us who are shy, or young, and surrounded by those with more power and experience, we will have to fake it ‘til we make it.

But the best way to change behavior is to practice changing behavior.  We can behave in a manner that is outside our comfort zone for short periods of time, and when we repeat those short periods for lengthier periods, we begin to find a new way of being.

And that can serve us well.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills andpublic speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

I was willing to forgive one of them.  His UPMs were around 16. I wasn’t so easy on the other guy.  His UPMs were around 12, but they were more disruptive.

I’m not sure why.  Let me blog out loud.

The guy with the higher UPM rate was older, and the Chairman of a company.  He spoke with quiet confidence at a thoughtful pace, taking his time to choose his words carefully.  It was during his thoughtful moments that his UPMs came out.  They were quick and discreet UPMs, like tiny bubbles of sound.

The guy whose UPM rate was about 12 was much younger, in his late 20s, and he spoke quickly.  It could be that his youthful appearance and the rapidity of his speech combined to create an impression of insecurity, which was made worse by the presence of his uhms.

His UPMs seemed to be signals of anxiety, whereas the Chairman’s UPMs seemed to be quirks or eccentricities.  No one could argue that the Chairman had not had a successful career.  He is at the top of his industry, and at the top of his game.

I could say no such thing about the younger guy.  He looked nervous, sounded nervous, and made me nervous about his ability to do the job being asked of him.

Could it be that the Chairman’s credibility could withstand the presence of 16 UPMs, while the younger guy’s relative youth and inexperience made his credibility vulnerable  to the presence of a mere 12?

I think so.  The Chairman would be a better speaker, and a shorter one, if he cleaned up his act.  But the younger guy is going to have to find a sense of ease in front of a crowd, and that will take a whole different set of muscles.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Is it to inform the limited partners about the performance of their investments? I don’t think so. 

The LPs already know the numbers.   They don’t come to the meeting to hear the numbers.  They come to hear what the manager thinks about the numbers.

There’s a big difference. 

Numbers are, we hope, facts about the past.  They are commodities—everybody has them, and their value is depressed. 

What we think about the numbers are opinions.  They have the potential for being unique and differentiated, and their value can be considerable. 

When a manager expresses a clear, compelling and fact-based opinion at an LP meeting, he has a chance of differentiating himself and his firm from the pack.

LP meetings have more to do with opinions than with facts.  If performance is down, a manager’s opinions about why are important, as are his opinions about the future.

And investors arrive with opinions about the numbers, and with a desire to hear the opinions of the manager.

Not only that.  Investors arrive with opinions about the manager and his team, and the manager seeks to use the meeting as a branding opportunity to reaffirm positive opinions about his operation, and alter the less-than-favorable opinions of the fence sitters.

Facts and opinions have to work together of course.  Facts are the bricks, opinions the building. 

LP meetings are based on facts, but they’re about opinions.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Across the street, stretching the full length of a 40-floor building, was a painting of Dwight Gooden, the ace Met’s pitcher, coiled in his wind-up with his eyes staring straight at us from under his cap.

I had the habit of asking Georgia, “Is it a cloudy day or a sunny day?”  Soon enough, however, it got more complicated, and our conversation evolved.  In other words, sometimes it was not all cloudy or all sunny.  Sometimes, it was both.

So it is with effective communication.  Not in terms of sun and clouds, but in terms of assertiveness and empathy.  We need both—the will to assert and the sensibility to speak into the listeners’ capacity to hear. 

We do the audience a service to be assertive because we give them something to push against, to poke holes in, and thus create a dialogue between our experience and theirs. 

And we do ourselves a service to understand their capacity to listen—to see the world as they see it—so that we can clothe our assertions in terms that will help them see more clearly the validity of our view. 

Some of us lack empathy and find it hard to comprehend what the audience is able to hear. 

And some of us lack assertiveness and find it hard to engage constructively in intellectual combat. 

But those who can do both earn the respect and trust of followers and opponents alike.  We call these people leaders, movers and shakers, high potentials, charismatics, persuaders, influencers, top guns, visionaries, sales stars. 

My daughter and I thought Dwight Gooden was staring at us, but in reality he was staring at the catcher’s mitt, trying to hurl his pitch where the catcher could catch it.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

“Speak to the audience, in the language of the audience, about what is most important to the audience.”

Your audience is a doctor.  Doctors are busy and stressed.  They have a limited capacity to absorb information.  They have the attention span of a gnat.

Know about the patients who are on your product.  Ask questions out of your concern for them, not because I’m telling you to do so.  Phoniness will not work in your favor.  Ask out of genuine concern.

Keep it simple.  Make only one point.  Make it several times.  In communication math, 1 X 3 = 1, meaning that if you make one point and you make it three times, your doc will remember your one point.

However, if you have three points and you make each three times, the equation looks like this:  3 X 3 = 0.

Go figure!  If you say three things, you say nothing.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Under no circumstances, they told me, should I reveal any weakness in the product.  To do so was to open a door through which the audience or the prospect could drive a truckload of fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD).

Suppose you’re writing a letter of recommendation.  Is it more persuasive to sing the praises of the candidate to the Nth degree, or is it better to sing her praises but also provide an insight into her shortcomings?

It turns out that the latter is more persuasive.  It has more credibility.  Nobody walks on water.  If you want to get the girl a job, it’s better to be fair and balanced.  It’s also ethical to practice full disclosure for the next employer.

This does not mean that you bash the candidate.  It simply means that you describe your experience, good and bad, in a way that does the greatest good.

Think of the current Direct to Consumer (DTC) ads for pharmaceutical products on TV.  We watch the images of couples sitting in separate lion-paw bathtubs gazing at the sun set, while we listen to the sound track whizzing by at almost inaudible speed mentioning horrors such as sterility, madness, seizures, and cardio-myopathy syndrome, which we don’t know anything about (I made it up) but it sounds scary.

Of course, the fine print makes us think twice about taking the drug, but what would we think if we took the drug without being told about side effects?

I’ll tell you how I’d feel.  I’d feel like unleashing the wrath of hell on the manufacturers.

So even if you’re selling consulting services, or elective surgery, you gotta be honest about your shortcomings—about what you can and cannot do or promise. You may lose the business this time, but you will definitely earn their respect for being honest, and that means you live to fight another day.  If you take the job and screw it up, the client is unlikely to hire you again.

Even worse, when you screw it up they’re likely to tell a whole bunch of other people, and slowly but surely your karma circles in on you, like a pride of lions 0n a wounded wart hog.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Robert Zajonc

He was interested in determining which influenced the other more strongly.  On balance, he came down on the side of emotion.

In one widely reported study, he found that smiling or frowning can alter blood flow to the brain as facial muscles relax or contract.

This in turn affects the parts of the brain that regulate feelings, helping induce happy or sad emotional states.

Could smiling help speakers with stage fright?  I think so.

The Buddha is depicted most often with a slight smile on his face—and he had true inner peace.   Little Orphan Annie knew that, “You’re never fully dressed without a smile,” and now we have the work of a renowned scientist to confirm the fact—on balance, it’s better for us when we smile.

It is important to have no misspellings on the slides, no inconsistencies between the data displayed and the data verbalized; important to make tenable claims, and demonstrate the sterling methods by which the data were generated; important to argue logically, rationally, objectively, and demonstrate a clear understanding of the difference between fact and opinion.

My brilliant clients do all this.  They work long hours to make sure the content is thorough, precise, and accurate.  They make no turn without stoning any assertion to test its strength and weakness.

Yet they often disregard themselves and how they come across. By education, training, temperament and culture they dwell on the facts.  They know that expertise is necessary for success, and they often act as if it were also sufficient.

It is not sufficient.  It is necessary, but not sufficient.  Audiences also need the facts shaped into a narrative that holds their attention—one that is clear and meaningful, and flows in a manner that appeals to the mind.

And always, under its breath, the audience is muttering, “Do I trust this guy?  Can she make this happen?  Does he have what it takes?  Would I like to have a drink with her?”

It’s never not also the person.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

At first glance, it looks like a mistake.  It doesn’t belong in a newspaper or a magazine.  It’s imperfect and unfinished.  It even says, “Draft,” in red at the top.

I read it because I was curious.  I thought I might read something secret and personal.  And for a while, I believed that I was. 

Then I just sat back in amazement.

They put backstage behavior on stage.  They made the rehearsal process the show.  They confessed that they are human, that messages and products are created through trial and error.

They used form to imply content.  They used art and craft to create authenticity.  They made something artificial look real. 

Not only that, they linked the marketing message to both the image and the text.  They even say that their product can’t make a great company—only that it can help to make that happen.

That’s true and honest.  They are not making exaggerated claims.

Makes me think about spoken communication.  Makes me think that our messy eccentricities may be our greatest strengths as speakers.  That our pretense of polish and perfection may be our greatest weakness.

And if not, at the very least, it points us to the fact that if we want to get attention and arouse curiosity in our audience, we must say, do, or show something that is in contrast to what is expected.

Sims Wyeth is a speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in presentation skills and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

This does not mean you have to hold your dirty laundry under their noses.  It simply means that you must give your listeners a glimpse of your private self.

A man came to me selling Long-Term Care Insurance.  He was older—in his 70s—and very easy-going.  He sat across from me as I sat at my desk, and outlined what he would like to cover in our meeting.

He began with the story of how he came to be selling LTCI.  His mother, a single divorced woman at the time, was hit by a car in New York City when she was in her late 50’s.  His older brother was alientated from the family, and so it fell to him to take care of his injured mother. 

Years of operations, home care, and financial struggle ensued. At the time of the accident, he had been a successful insurance agent for Blue Cross Blue Shield.  But soon he saw the need for a new type of insurance—one that could have helped his mother in her difficult circumstances.

And so he left BCBS and joined one of the few insurance companies at that time to be offering LTCI.

I asked questions about his mother and his brother as he told me this story, and learned even more about his life.  And when he asked me about my life, and how I came to my work, I was primed to divulge the deeper instincts that drove me to it.   Simple to say, I felt connected to him, enough to entrust him with the details of my life.

Did I buy insurance?  Well, no…but not because I didn’t want to.  He suggested I buy in the future when it would be more appropriate.

It is important to reveal your personal back story with a sense of proportion, lest your presentation become all about you.  But a few short personal details can help the audience engage with you and your material.  And when you relate your personal details to the larger issue you’re there to discuss, you will be a more effective speaker.

Sims Wyeth is a private speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in executive speech coaching and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

The gecko is low-key and sensible while his boss, the CEO of Geico, is driven by his irrational exuberance to come up with dumb ideas.  The gecko fights corporate silliness and keeps it simple and quantifiable (“you can save up to 15%.”)

The AFLAC duck is also surrounded by idiots who don’t have the common sense to see that the only solution to their problems is AFLAC.  His outrage (and his limited vocabulary) are comedic and charming.  We want to do business with him.

And Jared is all of us who are concerned about our weight.  He has found the simple solution to the problem, and is now living the good life in the company of celebrities and star athletes.

Gecko, duck and Jared are personifications of a brand.  They demonstrate the benefits of their brands by successfully struggling to overcome obstacles.

You can use the same technique to make your presentations more persuasive.  Your ideas, products, and companies can also be seen as solutions to problems. 

You may not have the creative license or budget to create a mascot and an endless series of ads, but you can think about what obstacles your idea or product must overcome, and then describe how your idea, product, or company struggles to conquer those obstacles.

In this way, you are emulating the best professional persuaders in the world.

Sims Wyeth is a private speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in executive speech coaching and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Jonathan Lehrer is a Rhodes Scholar out of Columbia University, an editor at large for the science-focused Seed Magazine and the author of Proust was a Neuroscientist.  He has written for numerous publications, including his blogs at The Frontal Cortex and at his own website.    His new book is How we Decide. 

Lehrer says he is pathologically indecisive.  “It’s not uncommon for me to spend 20 minutes in the in the cereal aisle deciding between Honey Nut Cheerios and Apple Cinnamon Cheerios.”

He speaks about the assumption that human beings are rational creatures and that the “bad guys” in decision-making are the emotions. 

Apparently, when the decision is a complex one, it’s best to absorb as much information as possible and then let it seep into your unconscious for a period of time. Your intuition may be your best bet in a complicated situation.

Lehrer references case studies of people with damage to the emotional centers of their brains who become unable to make even trivial decisions.

“Rationality without emotion is a disease,” he says.

As speakers who seek to win the assent of our audiences, whether we’re in sales or leadership, research or product management,  Lehrer provides further proof that the ancient Greeks were right:  we need both intellectual and emotional appeal when trying to persuade our listeners.

Sims Wyeth is a private speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in executive speech coaching and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.