People are more likely to like your ideas if they like you.  And one way to get them to like you is to be open and honest about who you are.

This does not mean you have to hold your dirty laundry under their noses.  It simply means that you must give your listeners a glimpse of your private self.

A man came to me selling Long-Term Care Insurance.  He was older—in his 70s—and very easy-going.  He sat across from me as I sat at my desk, and outlined what he would like to cover in our meeting.

He began with the story of how he came to be selling LTCI.  His mother, a single divorced woman at the time, was hit by a car in New York City when she was in her late 50’s.  His older brother was alientated from the family, and so it fell to him to take care of his injured mother. 

Years of operations, home care, and financial struggle ensued. At the time of the accident, he had been a successful insurance agent for Blue Cross Blue Shield.  But soon he saw the need for a new type of insurance—one that could have helped his mother in her difficult circumstances.

And so he left BCBS and joined one of the few insurance companies at that time to be offering LTCI.

I asked questions about his mother and his brother as he told me this story, and learned even more about his life.  And when he asked me about my life, and how I came to my work, I was primed to divulge the deeper instincts that drove me to it.   Simple to say, I felt connected to him, enough to entrust him with the details of my life.

Did I buy insurance?  Well, no…but not because I didn’t want to.  He suggested I buy in the future when it would be more appropriate.

It is important to reveal your personal back story with a sense of proportion, lest your presentation become all about you.  But a few short personal details can help the audience engage with you and your material.  And when you relate your personal details to the larger issue you’re there to discuss, you will be a more effective speaker.

Sims Wyeth is a private speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in executive speech coaching and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.

Hamlet is the Prince of Denmark in Shakespeare’s play called Hamlet, written around 1603.   He hires a bunch of actors to put on a play that he’s written, and he gives them coaching on how to speak their lines.

Four-hundred and six years later, what he says remains good advice for presenters too. 

So here’s what happening in the scene.  After he’s told them not to wave their arms around too much, he tells them to loosen up, but also make sure that their gestures relate to what they’re saying.

“Be not too tame neither, but let your own discretion be your

tutor. Suit the action to the word, the word to the action, with this

special observance, that you o’erstep not the modesty of nature”

To be most effective, and to look natural, gestures should come before the key word you’re emphasizing, or in the middle of the word.

Jimmy Carter had trouble with this on one occasion.  He was speaking from the Oval Office to the American people, saying that the economy was “heading up.”  Only after he finished the phrase did he move his arm to point skyward.  It looked as if his mind was not connected to his body.  Or that he had rehearsed a gesture, but forgot to do it, and tacked it on at the end when he remembered.

Finally, Hamlet says to his actors, “Don’t overstep modesty,” or words to that effect.  What does that mean? 

It means that when in front of an audience it’s best to express passion artfully with your voice, rather than with large, emphatic gestures.

President Obama is highly effective at this.  He communicates passion with his voice, even though his body is relaxed and still. The combination communicates power and control.  

To read more about Hamlet as a speech coach, go to executivespeechcoachnj.com.

Sims Wyeth is a private speech coach in Montclair, NJ specializing in executive speech coaching and public speaking training in order to give accomplished people the knowledge and skill they need to become accomplished speakers. Learn more public speaking tips at www.SimsWyeth.com.